Couch Thoughts

What am I doing!?  I sit here dreaming about how there are so many things I want to accomplish in life and yet I'm still sitting an hour later after my "fantasy moment" is over. I watch movies about people going through the same thing as me and I watch them struggle towards accomplishing their goals.  WHY DON'T I DO THAT!? Why am I settling and waking up thinking, "this is it, I guess."  ?  I want something more!  Is that greedy?  The other day I told my mom, that I know I am meant for something better! I mean I don't want to make other people feel their life isn't important and what they do isn't good enough, because it is if that's what they want for themselves, but for me, I want MORE!  I give advice to people about chasing their dreams and sweat to get it, but I'm just a hippocrate.  What am I doing?  Sure am not sweating that's for sure.  I'm benched in my own life and I'm watching other people play in their court, when I am not putting any effort to get on mine. I need that motivation.  I'll tell you one thing though...if I wasn't $300 in my checking account, overdrawn on my credit card and wondering when my power is going to go out because I haven't paid my electric bill due a week ago, it would probably make myself a little more motivated.  Plus, I'm tired...so tired ALL THE TIME! I could probably sleep longer than sleeping beauty without the spindle.  (Is that the right story?) I feel like there is about to be a door opened right around the corner, but God is telling me I have to be ready for it or I am going to miss out.  He put me in Texas for a reason.  I truly believe the great job I have is not where I am meant to be, I think it's just what God used to get me here and it's getting me closer to where I need to be.  I feel it in my heart.  It's amazing, but I'm scared that I'm not going to be ready.  I know I have a fire inside me ready to explode any minute, but I'm holding it in because of, I dunno, fear?  I'm scared there will be a lot of rejection, hurt, and loss.  I'm really scared of this, but you know what....I've been hurt...quite a bit for a 24 year old I must say and I have been rejected and I have lost. I can do this.  I can take it.  I need to try.  I can't miss the door.  God is preparing me for something greater and I need to be ready to receive his blessing.  Okay, I guess I'll start with getting off the couch now. 

God Bless.

Loves.

Sam